"Making a happy home is a noble endeavor." Deborah Needleman from The Perfectly Imperfect Home
This quote grabbed my attention the first time I heard it and has become part of my thinking towards the creation and use of a home. For many years, when we were getting ready to host a dinner party I worked hard to make the house as perfect as possible. Everything cleaned, all laundry done, all ironing done, all dishes done... dusting, vacuuming, freshly fluffed pillows before guests arrived... and often I would have worked myself up to a nervous anticipation that took some time to calm down after they arrived. I wasn't able to be as present and helpful as I could've been.
But over time, and many remodels, DIYs, and dinners later, I’ve come to see things differently.
A happy home is not a perfect home.
It’s not a company-ready home.
It may not be a quiet home (though some days, we might wish it were).
It’s a home that welcomes. That nourishes. That exudes grace.
“Hospitality is not about impressing people. It’s about loving & serving them.”
When we first began remodeling our home, and I remember the many times we put off entertaining because things were messy. I imagined I’d host once everything was “finished.” Once the cabinets were painted and the curtains sewn and the floors refinished. But as time passed, and friends kept showing up, and I realized: life wasn’t waiting for perfect.
So I learned to host mid-project. With drop cloths folded in the corner. With trim still waiting to be caulked. With half painted walls, and a dated kitchen.
You know what I noticed? No one minded. In fact, they stayed longer. They laughed louder. The house wasn’t intimidating—it was real. And you know what else? The mid-project status sparked some wonderful conversations! I had no idea that hosting in the midst of a remodel would give others the freedom & courage to do the same in their homes!
Here are my goals for hosting now-a-days:
- A clean space. Think cared for, not spotless. A wiped counter, a swept floor, a freshly cleaned bathroom, a lit candle.
- Comfort. Enough chairs for everyone (this hasn't always happened, but I try). Extra throws on the sofa. Cushions that invite lingering. Adequate lighting (no gloomy corners), and clearly set out areas. Guests feel uncomfortable if they don't know what to do, or what is expected of them. Show them where to place their shoes, handbags, the crockpot meal they brought, where the serving line is...
- Delicious, simple food. Nothing fussy. Just hearty, warm, and shared.
- A calm, gracious welcome. A smile at the door. No apologies for the unfinished (guests take their cues from you - if you're ok with things, they are). Just an invitation to come in, enjoy, and rest.
A Note to the Homemaker
If you’re in the middle of a renovation, or you’re slowly DIY-ing your way through a room, or you’ve just got laundry piled up and projects in progress, be encouraged. You are not behind. You are building something good. Making a happy home is a higher calling than making a perfect home. That is noble. That is enough.
Have you found yourself waiting for your home to be “ready” before hosting? What helped you embrace imperfection and open your home anyway? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Until next time, take care,
Rachel
