Hello, friend!
There is a mindset, more British than American, that caring about how your home looks is somehow... frivolous. Shallow. A luxury for people with too much time (and money) on their hands. But I'd like to make the case that aesthetics in home design actually matter, not in a superficial, keep-up-with-the-Joneses way, but in a way that shapes how you live every single day.
Emotional Impact of Aesthetics
Creating a cozy, beautiful space is a tactile experience. It appeals to sight, sound, scent, touch, and emotion. It's not just about making things look pretty for a photograph or to impress others. It's about the feeling you get when walking into a room. Think about the difference when entering a room with harsh overhead lighting versus one softly lit by lamps. Nothing seems to create that sense of homey welcome like the warm ambiance of lamp light. It's not just aesthetics, it's atmosphere. It is emotional. Colors also evoke feelings. Textures invite touch. The arrangement of a room can make you feel calm or anxious, welcomed or unsettled. There's real psychology behind this, and if you are attentive to your surroundings, you'll feel the difference personally.
I love the practice of "presetting" a room, fluffing the pillows, turning on the lamps, prepping breakfast, and setting the breakfast table the night before. There is something incredible about entering a room where your needs and desires have been anticipated. That's the emotional power of intentional design & working ahead of life's needs & events.
Aesthetics vs. Functionality
The aesthetics of your home are the setting for your life, not the focus. As Nina Campbell says: "I think in design it's very important to remember what you're trying to achieve in your own home or in fact in the home of anybody else. And I believe very strongly that your home is the background to your life, it's not the main player, and therefore, it needs to be primarily comfortable, not only for you, but for your guests." Function comes first. The purpose of your home is more important than its appearance. But here's what I've learned: when something works beautifully, it's pleasurable to use. It relieves stress, and it reduces decision fatigue. Excellent function is luxurious.
When we remodeled/reorganized our previous kitchen, it wasn't about making it Instagram-worthy. It was about planning around daily use, thinking through where things should live based on how we actually cook in the kitchen. The result was surprisingly luxurious. This was the first time that I recognized that, to me, having a highly simplified, organized space was a luxury. The lovely thing is, you don't have to choose between beautiful and functional ~ you can have both! Matt and I have an operating goal: good, better, best. You start where you are, make it work, then gradually make it better, considering function first, then aesthetics.
The Subconscious Influence of Design Choices
Here's something fascinating to consider: you might not consciously notice every design element in your home, but you're still affected by them. The colors on your walls, the texture of your sofa, the way light falls across a room... these things shape your experience even when you're not actively thinking about them. Rita Konig says, "You very rarely look at things to appreciate them. Just being there is enough."
I think this is why so many Pinterest-perfect homes actually feel uncomfortable to live in. They're staged for an observer, but you are not an observer. You live in your home. As designer Penny Morrison once said, "Americans decorate as though it's been done for a photograph." But a real house is for the people, not Instagram. Your house is to live in, not just to gaze upon. This is also why I love old things. The imperfections, the worn edges, the lived-in quality called "patina" gives us permission to use things. Permission to try new things. Permission to actually use our things. When everything is too perfect, too pristine, we subconsciously feel we can't relax. We can't truly be at home.
Creating a Cohesive Color Scheme
One of the most impactful aesthetic choices you can make is developing a cohesive color palette for your entire home. This doesn't mean everything has to match exactly. That could get boring. But, for example, when you choose from a palette that's either warm or cool, all your patterns and pieces start to feel unified and intentionally designed.
Color can feel bewildering, even scary. The best option when beginning is to start with small doses, decor items, throw pillows, art, and lampshades. Then work your way to bigger commitments like curtains, rugs, and paint.
Think about the feeling you want a room to evoke. Do you want calm and restful? Consider soft blues, greens, and warm creams. Want something with a bit more weight and coziness? Go with a richer, deeper shade on your home color palette. When we painted our bathroom, a light blue would've been lighter and brighter, but we wanted the room to have some weight. On the other hand, the room was small, so we didn't want it to be cave-like. So we chose a mid-tone blue. It took a few attempts with sample paints, but the consideration was worth it in the end.
And here's a simple design principle: repetition matters. It's essential to have at least three repetitions of a color or element in a space; this technique sends a signal that your eye recognizes as an intentional design rather than a random accident.
The Role of Textures and Patterns
Texture is one of those often overlooked anchors of interior design. Bamboo blinds, for example. We added them throughout both our last home and our current home. They naturally bring great texture to each room, helping to ground the space and keep it from feeling too designed. In our previous dining room, they added depth and warmth. In our previous living room, they played well with the texture of the brick and added visual interest without competing.
Imperfect, handmade materials do something special, too. When we chose zellige tile for our kitchen backsplash in the old house, it wasn't despite the imperfections, it was because of them. Those variations make a space feel real, relaxed, forgiving. They permit you to live in your home rather than just exist in it. Mix your textures thoughtfully. Linen, wool, wood, ceramic, brass... the interplay of different materials adds richness that no single perfect surface can achieve.
The Importance of Personalization
Your home should tell your story. Not someone else's story. Not Instagram's story. Yours. This is where collected pieces, vintage finds, family heirlooms, and personal art come in. These are the things that make your home uniquely yours. They carry memory and meaning that no amount of coordinated decor can replicate. Don't be afraid to display the things you love, even if they don't "match" perfectly. That ironstone pitcher from your grandmother? The painting you found at a thrift store that just made your heart sing? The books you've actually read and loved? These are the things that give a home soul. Aesthetics become meaningful when they reflect you and the life your family actually lives.
Professional Help ~ Is It Worth It?
Sometimes you're just too close to your own space. You can't see the potential, or you're stuck in a rut, or you keep making the same choices that aren't quite working. A good designer, someone who listens and understands your vision, can see things you can't. They can save you from costly mistakes and help you create something more cohesive and beautiful than you might achieve on your own. Or, another option is a good friend with excellent taste, who understands your style. They have the advantage of not living in your home. They have a fresh perspective. This doesn't mean you need a designer for everything. But for a room that's really stumping you, or a bigger project where the stakes feel high, professional guidance can be worth every penny. Investing in your home's aesthetics isn't frivolous. It's investing in the quality of life that you and your family are living. Aesthetics? They absolutely do matter. Until next time, take care.
Warmly,
Rachel
