This topic is a bit off topic from the usual, but in light of our goal to create a life-giving home, I hope you will find it relevant. Do you struggle to "get everything done?" or even to get the basics done? There don't seem to be enough hours in your day. Or, that no matter how hard you try, you can't keep a schedule?
For many years, before meeting Matt, my schedule as a single girl was all my own, and I felt most satisfied when getting things accomplished. After marriage, I naturally experienced a shift in running a home, cooking for two, and spending time together. Still, outside of work, I had set, expected blocks of time to decide how to spend. Fast forward to the switch from working outside the home to taking on a blog & YouTube channel. For years, I knew exactly when to tackle blog work, when to film, when to edit, when to grocery shop/meal plan, and when to start dinner. I wasn't perfect, and didn't always stick to the schedule, but I felt productive. There was a calmness in knowing I could get the things done that I needed to in a timely manner.
And then... the Lord answered our deepest hearts' prayers and our first child was born. This brought great joy and incredible gratitude. This life change meant many things I wasn't really prepared for. And in a way, with changes like these, you can't really foresee how life will look until you get there.
Those planned hours and time blocks flew out the window. Naps happened when they happened. Feeding times shifted constantly. Our little one is bigger now, and our schedule has changed many times over the years. Sometimes, from week to week. This was a kind of flexibility I wasn't accustomed to, and it required a mindset shift. It took me a while to realize something important: abandoning structure wasn't the answer.
"Embracing the flow of rhythms does not mean abandoning structure, but weaving it into life with intention."
The Importance of Structure
A structured schedule, knowing that you'll do certain things at certain times, can be genuinely helpful. There's relief in predictability. When you know that laundry happens on Mondays and groceries get done on Thursdays, you don't have to spend mental energy deciding. The decision is already made. I've shared before about how excellent function is luxurious. When something works, it's pleasurable to use. The same is true for our days. A routine that hums along smoothly? That's a lovely thing. The function of your home is more important than how it looks, and the same goes for your schedule. It needs to actually work for your life.
The Value of Rhythm: Embracing Flexibility
But here's where rhythm comes in, and it's different from a schedule in a subtle but important way. The schedule says: "At 9:00 AM, I will do this task." The rhythm says: "After breakfast and before the baby's first nap, I aim to do this task." See the difference? Rhythm anchors your activities to the natural flow of your day rather than to the clock. It's more fluid. More forgiving. It adapts. I have to laugh at this point because this isn't my natural bent in personality. It is my husband's personality, though!
Over the years, I've come to think about our home as a living thing, changing along with us. You and I are living beings; we change constantly. Different seasons of life require different things, and living homes and living schedules adapt to meet them. This is especially true during transitions. New parenthood, career changes, caring for aging parents, health challenges, and moving to a new place. Life has a way of shaking up the best-laid plans at times. This is where rhythm is a boon as we adjust to a new normal.
Rhythm allows for creativity, too. When you're not rigidly tied to time blocks, there's space to follow an idea, to linger over something that's working, to pivot when something isn't. Think of your home, and your life, as a laboratory, and experiment with its uses.
From Schedule to Rhythm
Letting go of my carefully structured days was a struggle, at first. The turning point came when I stopped trying to force the old schedule onto my new life and started paying attention to the natural rhythms that were already there. Currently, mornings are for simple tasks like getting laundry/dishes going that can run independently, or pause easily. The first nap is for focused work time. Early afternoons are for household tasks, playing with our toddler, and dinner prep. Afternoon naps allow for more work time. And evenings are time for family dinner and small tasks that set tomorrow up for success.
The best cup of tea, and a well-designed room, must steep. I've come to believe the same is true for a well-designed life. It can't be rushed. It has to unfold.
Finding Your Balance
How do you know if your current approach is working? Here are a few signs that you might need more rhythm and less rigid scheduling: You're constantly feeling behind, even when you're doing plenty. The schedule has become a source of stress rather than relief. You're often disappointed for not hitting time/production goals. There's a difference between a day that's gently flexible and one that's chaotic. Rhythm isn't the absence of structure; it's structure that breathes.
Tips for Implementing a Rhythmic Lifestyle
- Anchor to activities, not times. Instead of "I'll clean at 10 AM," try "I'll tidy up after the morning activity." This gives you flexibility while still creating predictable patterns.
- Protect the essentials. Decide what truly matters right now in your life. For me, it's a reasonably clean home, simple, healthy meals, and some focused work time. Build your rhythm around those things. Let the rest flex.
- Preset for the next moment. This is something I have found to really boost the next day's goals along. Ask yourself: "What one or two things can I do today/this evening that will be the most impactful in achieving my goals tomorrow?" Prep the coffee. Choose your outfit. Set the table for breakfast. These little choices will give you momentum!
- Use your pockets of time wisely. For me, naptime is precious. So, I have everything lined out to start work without delay or distraction. Get a clear handle on your priorities so you can dive in when the moment arrives.
- Give grace. This is the big one. Shifting from a schedule to a rhythm takes practice. It will not be a smooth transition, and that's ok. I'm still learning! You will try something, it may not work (and that's ok). Just try something else.
Remember: just as the house is for the people, not for Instagram. The flow of your days is for your life, and your family's life, not for some imaginary productivity grade.
Embracing Change and Growth
Here's what I've come to believe: different seasons of life require different things. That's not a problem to solve; it's simply true. A living home is always changing, and so is a living life. You cannot just "set" your schedule once and leave it forever. It will get stale. It will stop serving you. The best approach changes with you.
Let me encourage, friend, take a gentle look at your days. Maybe you need more structure right now. Maybe you need more flow. Maybe, probably, you need a bit of both, woven together in a way that actually fits your life as it is today. There's no perfect formula. Just take note of your life, adjusting as you go, permitting yourself to find your own rhythm.
Warmly,
Rachel
