Stone Cottage Home

Creating a Life-Giving Home

Hi friends! We are life givers, you and me. Did you know that you can give life by creating a life-giving home? Our influence is often unseen, a quiet voice in life that can affect the path someone chooses or change the path they’re on. The way we keep our homes says something. It communicates …

Creating a Life-Giving Home

Hi friends!

We are life givers, you and me. Did you know that you can give life by creating a life-giving home? Our influence is often unseen, a quiet voice in life that can affect the path someone chooses or change the path they’re on. The way we keep our homes says something. It communicates to all who enter. Today, I’d like to share a few practical thoughts on creating a life-giving home.

What is a life-giving home? The life-giving home begins in your heart and mind. You know when you’ve walked into a life-giving home. You feel comfortable, welcome, wanted, and enjoyed. There is a feeling of joy and gratitude for everyone who enters those doors – and everyone knows it. Peace and restfulness come from a sense of order; the flow of the home functions well.

The good news for you & me is that the life-giving home is attainable for each of us! No matter your income, whether you are married or not, whether you have children or not, whether you own your home, or not. The life-giving home is created by rather practical things.

These four things: order, systems, cleaning, and beautifying, are the basis for creating a life-giving home. Let’s discuss how you can incorporate these into your home.

Order: Order is the function of your home. Think of a well-oiled machine humming away. There is a sense of order. The easiest way to organize your home is to have less to organize! Beginning mid-January 2024 Matt and I took the challenge to get rid of 500 items. This project has come in spurts. Sometimes we’d have a trunk load of things to donate, other times just a sack full. I’ve thinned down my home décor and sold large pieces of furniture. Let me warn you, once you begin to get rid of things the feeling of lightness and freedom is addicting! You can feel life flowing into your home! With the purge challenge, we are currently at 982 items (we’re pushing for 1,000!) and the funny thing is, other than the large furniture pieces, we don’t remember or miss what we’ve gotten rid of!  

Systems: Think of systems as the mechanics of a home. How things flow together. With a lighter home, it is much easier to manage the flow of your home. There is physical space to organize the things you have. You can establish “zones” for different tasks near where those tasks need to take place. There are towels where you need them, there is a spot for air filters, light bulbs, etc. You have room to store the stuff and create a more peaceful atmosphere. With a lighter home, you also have mental space to create systems for the flow of your home. This could include meal planning, scheduling family events, home maintenance, laundry systems, and cleaning systems.

Apple pie sitting on the counter in a cottage kitchen
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Cleaning: Cleaning is a luxury everyone can afford. For over 25 years I cleaned houses and learned a lot about how people lived. Some people were tidy, and I was able to clean their homes quickly. Others weren’t. One couple with grown children for whom I cleaned lived in a state of disaster. Picture this: In the kitchen, countertops, sink, and island are piled with a combination of dirty dishes, pantry goods, and several partially eaten meals. On the dining table, more partially eaten meals, paperwork, mail, groceries in plastic bags, and a load or two of laundry needing to be folded and put away. In the bedroom, shoes, piles of dirty laundry, and towels nearly cover the floor. One bathroom was covered in foundation powder, hair, and cosmetic products, more dirty laundry, and coffee mugs. The living room held several more pairs of shoes, dirty laundry, hats, coats (if it were winter), and a pile of jewelry. The furniture was out of place, the rugs askew, and a week’s worth of to-go cups and take-out trash were mounded on the side tables. Then, a few hours later the house was picked up, and dusted, bathrooms cleaned, kitchen cleaned, dishes & laundry done, sheets washed, dried, and beds remade, floors swept, mopped, and vacuumed. The furniture and rugs were straightened, magazines set out, throw pillows plumped, throw blankets draped over the sofa, and a few lamps glowing. The following week the scene of chaos would be the same. Nearly four years of cleaning for this family taught me a few lessons.

Having a life-giving home is a mindset. A home is to be more than just a place to exist, more than a place to sleep, fill your belly, and get ready to leave. This couple, while benefiting from having their house cleaned, was missing what that house had to offer. They weren’t giving their house a chance to be a home. We all can throw our trash away, load our dishes, and put our dirty clothes in the hamper. There is a direct correlation between the state of your home and the state of your mind. Taking responsibility for your daily habits will not only bless others, but demonstrate gratitude for the things, the home, and the people you’ve been given. Ask yourself if your thoughts and actions are life-giving or life-taking. This brings us to the fourth point:

Beautifying: How to love your home more right now by giving your house a chance! This mindset applies whether you own your home, or you are renting. Whether you have some decorating money to work with, or not. We can all too easily focus on what is “wrong” with our homes or on what we’d like to change and forget why we fell in love with our homes and chose them in the first place. Remember the first time you walked through your prospective home? Matt & I reminisce about that first tour… We walked through the empty house imagining where our furniture would go. We talked about how much we liked the fireplace, the lovely picture window looking over the backyard, and the special features like the round stained glass window in the hall bath. This would become our first home and felt like an unreachable dream since we were living in a 660-square-foot apartment. This house felt huge and rather grand for us! It’s important to focus on the things we loved most in the beginning and the things we’ve come to love over time. We rented from the homeowners for four years and then we were able to buy the house. As renters in those early years, there wasn’t much we could do to make the house reflect our goals for a home. We were renting and we had a tight budget.

Build well, build slowly.

Consider the creation of a life-giving home as a journey. It doesn’t happen right away, and you shouldn’t expect that. I don’t imagine us all going home and pitching 500 things and rearranging the furniture – as late as some of us stayed we might end up with an armchair in the bathroom! Creating a life-giving home is a life-long process. As you learn to nurture a life-giving home ask yourself, does the way I clean, decorate, organize, and host in our home bring others closer to the Lord? Does it give them life?

What greater joy can there be than to create a holding place for all that is sacred in life: God, purpose, beauty, relationships, creativity, fun, the art of life, safety, shelter, feasting? To foster education in many realms of interests, a classroom of life where the foundations of morality are taught and modeled and wisdom is learned. Building well is a long process. Creating a life-giving home, then, is a long process taken one step, one season at a time. Home should be the very best place to be ever.” Sally Clarkson

Until next time, take care

Rachel

Join the conversation

  1. MAtt February 7, 2025

    Rachie, you have created a life giving home for us. Thank you for creating this wonderful place that our family can enjoy together!

    1. Rachel Stone February 7, 2025

      Thank you, Matt!
      Doing this for you & our family is my greatest joy.

  2. Janina February 7, 2025

    Hi Rachel! So sweet that your husband was the first to comment ❤️. My home means so much to me too. My motto is to bloom where you are planted. Home has been sacred for me throughout my life. Even in the season of being in an abusive marriage. Even when I left with my 3 children and lived in my parents basement for 9 months. In our home that we got right beside my parents. It was home. And then 9 years ago we remodeled this house so my parents had their own part. They had sold their house. Each iteration of home was important. Now my children have their own families and it’s me and my pets. My father has passed away but spent 4 happy years together here. My mother can stay here and age in place. Home for us is here ????????. Thank you, Rachel for sharing your home!

    1. Rachel Stone February 15, 2025

      Wonderful motto, Miss Janina!
      You have taken those words to heart & discovered a vital truth that has helped you and others thrive. Thanks for sharing!
      Warmly,
      Rachel

  3. Janet February 8, 2025

    Hi Rachel! This was a great video! I have a question: do you still give tea parties for multiple ladies? And, I have a suggestion: perhaps you could put together a video of how to decorate shelves. I have many shelves in my home, bookcases and on the wall, but I always end up using three items to symmetrically decorate each one. Three things lined up, over and over again. As soon as I try to do something “off balance” and add in other things, my eye cannot adjust and I go back to three. What do you think?

    1. Rachel Stone February 15, 2025

      Good morning, Miss Janet!
      I haven’t held a tea party in awhile, but a friend of mine is borrowing my tea cups to host one of her own. I haven’t thought of doing a dedicated video on shelf styling, but you might find some inspiration from some of the hutch shelf styling and bookcase styling in my kitchen and living room videos.

  4. Rebecca Anderson February 8, 2025

    Rachel,
    I do so enjoy your blog! It makes DREAM at least! I keep saying that I want to redecorate, repair and reassess and even…(gasp) repaint! But so far time is weird for us and I’m the “hinge” in the family these days so well…dreaming COUNTS until I can get to it! I will…in time! Thanks for inspiring us all! (P.S…I remember tea at our house with you girls crocheting and me learning shadow work embroidery from you! Great memories!!). I am ever grateful for our “goat milking days” when I first met you and the family!

    1. Rachel Stone February 15, 2025

      Hello friend!
      It’s always a joy to see your name pop up! As Matt’s Grandpa used to say: “Dreamin’s free, keep dreamin’.”I’ve always loved this sentiment and he’s right!I remember those tea and crochet days fondly as well. And the goat herding days – I learned so much!
      Blessings,
      Rachel

  5. Patricia February 9, 2025

    Rachel, This was just what I needed today! I’m living in my husband’s childhood home while he works several states away until retirement. The children are grown and so it is me and Miss Witten. I had so many dreams for this house but I think loneliness and a bit of depression have turned one day into the next into the next. This is not what God wants for me and your post has shown me that. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I hope you and Matt have a blessed day…I’m off to start on the first room in the house.
    Blessings-

    1. Rachel Stone February 15, 2025

      Hello Miss Patricia!
      It’s wonderful to hear you were helped by today’s video! It encourages me to know others were encouraged. Like a smile, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. You CAN enjoy your home in your current stage of life. It might take longer to “eat that elephant”, but you can do it!

      Rooting for you,
      Rachel

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